בלוג

(I took the photos on the right. The one on the left is stock footage, from the Internet.)

What caption would you give this?

I started off by saying that i remember when i was a child that they opened a new grocery store in **** with a chidush -- things being sold in bulk -- large bins of candies or pasta or other things which you could take as much of as you wanted, put in a bag, and weigh, and then pay for when you left...
Then i came to israel and things were also being sold in bulk, except there was a big sign over the stuff saying "don't eat before you pay", which i thought was funny, at first, until i saw people doing just that...
And then i learned that if you were hungry in the morning, you could go to the shuk and get a whole breakfast for free, by starting at one end and walking the length of the shuk taking a nut here, a cookie there, a grape there... by the time you got to the end, you were full (I've NEVER actually done that... but others do)
Then i mentioned that once i was in a supermarket in jerusalem and saw a certain charedi rav -- someone quite well respected in certain circles -- standing in line at the checkout, eating from an opened bag of bamba, and that really bugged me, so i walked up to him and asked him if he didn't think that maybe he should pay for that before he starts eating it... He hemmed and hawed, embarrassed.

Then i tied all this into the parsha -- because it says in the parsha that when you come into your friend's vinyard, you may eat as many grapes as you want to fill your hunger, but you may not put any in your vessels.
Which seems like a very strange concept -- mah pit'om that i could eat someone else's grapes off their vines without their permission? But the talmud explains that it's only referring to a worker who's been hired to harvest the grapes -- the worker is allowed to eat grapes as s/he goes along, but not to take any home without permission.
And then I talked about fair workers' conditions and civil justice issues, not returning a slave to his/her home country, refugees seeking asylum, and stuff like that.

My congregants loved it. Which is good. :)

Shavua tov.

I was at a funeral at the Bet Shemesh cemetary ("Eretz HaChaim") this week on Monday.

I really don't know how the decorator could've been so dumb. What a stupidly inappropriate way to decorate the room.

The front wall in the inside of the funeral chapel in Bet Shemesh, i.e where everyone faces during the eulogies, behind where the body is put, has this large smiley face. Probably not put there intentionally, but you can't miss it. There are two small rectangular windows near the ceiling. Below them, smack in between, there's an oval shaped light fixture -- the only one on that wall. and then below that, there's a pasuk written in a large semicircle (the bottom half of a circle). So it's an unmistakable smiley face.

Why would they do that?

Found this. It's in Philo's Allegorical Interpretation, book III:

LXIII. (179) And he uttered this prayer, blaming Joseph the statesman and governor, because he had ventured to say, "I will feed them in that Land,"{87}{#ge 45:11.} for, "hasten ye," said Joseph, "and go up to my father, and say unto him, Thus says Joseph," and so on, and presently he adds, "Come down unto me, and do not tarry, come with all thou hast, and I will feed thee in that land; for still the famine lasts for five years." Jacob, therefore, speaks as he does reproving and at the same time instructing this imaginary wise man, and he says to him, "O my friend, know thou that the food of the soul is knowledge, which it is not the word which is intelligible by the external senses that can bestow, but God only who has nourished me from youth, and from my earliest age till the time of perfect manhood, he shall fill me with it. (180) Joseph therefore was treated in the same way with his mother Rachel, for she also thought that the creature had some power; on which account she used the expression, "Give me children," but the supplanter [=Jacob (HCY)], adhering to his proper character, says to her, "You have used a great error; for I am not in the peace of God, who alone is able to open the womb of the soul, {88}{#ge 30:1.} and to implant virtues in it, and to cause it to be pregnant, and to bring forth what is good. Consider also the history of thy sister Leah, and you will find that she did not receive seed or fertility from any creature--but from God himself." "For the Lord, seeing that Leah was hated, opened her womb, but Rachel was Barren."{89}{#ge 29:31.} (181) And consider, now, in this sentence, again, the subtlety of the writer spoken of. God opens the wombs, implanting good actions in them, and the womb, when it has received virtue from God, does not bring forth to God, for the living and true God is not in need of any thing, but she brings forth sons to me, Jacob, for it was for my sake, probably, that God sowed seen in virtue, and not for his own. Therefore, another husband of Leah is found to be passed over in silence, and another father of Leah's children, for he is the husband who openeth the womb, and he is the father of the children to whom the mother is said to bear them.

My thought: Wow!

Ahmenajad calls up Bush and says to him, "Bush, I had a dream last night. And in my dream, I saw an airplane flying over the United States, with a banner that read, 'United States of Iran'!"

Bush says, "Funny you should call me, because I, too, had a dream last night. And in my dream, I also saw an airplane with a banner, flying over Iran!"

Ahmenajad says, "What did the banner say?"

Bush says, "I don't know, I can't read Hebrew!"

My friend shows me how he makes his culmus.

Part 1:


Part 2:

In this week's episode of ER. (Season 14 Episode 7).
Why can't they ever get these right? Why do they even try? Does it make you feel good to see bad attempts of Jewish people in TV programs?

( Only in Israel... )

http://www.israeltoday.co.il/default.aspx?tabid=178&nid=12012

"Ahiraz believes Hooters would survive, following the failure of Hard Rock Café and Planet Hollywood, because Hooters plans on opening a chain of restaurants, hopefully also in Jerusalem, Eilat and Haifa.

“I don't think there will be a backlash against the restaurant,” Ahiraz said. "



LOL!

Hooters, Meah Shearim branch. :)

For this week's parashah, there's a great example of the way Acharonim come up with great ways of twisting the meaning of Midrashim and older perushim to make them fit with their religious outlook, which obviously to us (but not to them) wasn't shared by the old ones.

This is from the anonymous commentary in the "Chumash Rav Peninim", right at the beginning of Parashat Chayei Sarah.

The Satan went to Sarah and appeared to her in the image of Isaac. When she saw him, she said, "My son, what did your father do to you?" He said to her, "My father took me over hills and through valleys until he took me up to the top of a tall, steep mountain, built an altar, arranged the wood, bound me on the altar, and took hold of a knife to slaughter me. And had not the Holy One, blessed be He, said to him "Do not send your hand", I would be slaughtered by now." He did not succeed in finishing telling her all this before her soul left her body."

1. I was in an "Everything for two shekels" store yesterday. I noticed that they were selling a peculiar little device. It looked kind of like a hearing aid, and it was advertised as a "cure" for tiredness, driving while sleepy, or drunk driving. I read the details. It was a device that, once turned on, would start to beep if the wearer's head began to droop. So, a drunk person who started falling asleep at the wheel would be woken up as soon as s/he fell asleep and his or her head started to droop. Isn't that horrible?
   
2. I was in a department store. Two small boys, probably around six years old, walked by. One of the boys said quite loudly, to his friend, but heard by all: "I'd like to f%#k that woman." ("בא לי לזיין את האשה הזאת") Six years old! What is this world coming to? (And I think he was referring to a skimpily-dressed womannequin.)

I saw this in today's Yediot Acharonot newspaper!

Translation: The blessings [to be said] when seeing The king messiah The Lubavitcher Rebbe He is the god There is none other than him! (From the responsa Lev Chaim part 2 chapter 42) Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe, redeemer of Israel. Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe, who let us live, and sustained us, and brought us to this time. Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe, who gave of His wisdom to those who fear Him. Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe, who gave of His honour to those who fear Him. Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe, wise One of the secrets. May our master, teacher, and ruler, king messiah, live forever! It is possible to pray to the Lubavitcher Rebbe, the Holy One blessed be He And it is desirable to travel to the Messiah's house, 770, in Brooklyn Which is actually the third temple. Meir Menachem Barnes, spokesman for the Messiah 050-8531446

I'm curious to see what kinds of shuls you guys go to. How is the sanctuary set up? Which way do the leaders face? Where do they sit? Bimah in center of the room? At front? Chazzan's amud and/or table for Torah reading centered before the Ark, or rabbi's and cantor's lecturns side-by-side at opposite ends of the stage? Separate (side by side with/without mechitza, or balcony) or mixed seating? Does the sanctuary face the correct direction (Ark on the wall that's in direction of Jerusalem? If not, do people pray facing the Ark or facing Jerusalem?)? Etc. etc. IF you can, please post a photo or two. You could link to a photo from your shul's website, or better yet display it inline in your comment by typing

( Read these two stories )

Whenever I think about the Biblical story of the Binding of Isaac (which happens every year around Rosh HaShanah, as well as when we read Parashat Vayera, among other times), I think back to when I was in Grade 3 (Third Grade, for you Americans).

No, my father didn't drag me out of the house early one morning and try to slaughter me on some mountaintop.

My Grade 3 Hebrew teacher was a nice old woman, a holocaust surviver, named Gita Krohn. She was not religious/Shomer Shabbat... She davened at the big C shul in the city. But her Hebrew was decent so they let her teach.

We learned about the Akeidah in Chumash class. Our teacher had a display of the Akeidah, done with Playmobile, at the back of the classroom.

And I remember one day in class, Geveret Krohn went around the classroom and asked us 9-year-olds -- if God had asked us to sacrifice our sons, would we obey or disobey?

People said different things. When it came to my turn, I had given it a lot of thought and answered "While I wish I'd have the belief, dedication, courage etc. to do whatever God told me to do, I suspect that in reality I'd probably love my son so much that I just wouldn't be able to go through with it."

A few kids later, it was my best friend's turn to answer. And he said, "Of course if God told me to do it, I'd listen". I was very close with this friend. His family was not religious, he took some interest in Judaism perhaps mainly due to our friendship and his trying to imitate my observance, but basically he wasn't really Shomer Shabbat.

I remember feeling so sad and ashamed, that that friend was able to answer "yes", while I, the religious kid, wasn't strong enough in my faith to do so!